


How did you not see that coming?

by DmitriMolotov



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Jealousy, M/M, One Shot, Trust, the risks and rewards of criminal boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 13:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14916408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DmitriMolotov/pseuds/DmitriMolotov
Summary: Now, while it wasn’t widely advertised, it was no secret that Jon and Ryan were a thing.Whatwasa secret was that Jon and Jeremy were also a thing. A thing that Jon would very much like tokeepsecret – especially from Ryan – but given the situation, he doubted it could stay that way for long…





	How did you not see that coming?

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a last minute secret santa gift written back in 2016 that I recently rediscovered, and actually liked, so I thought I'd share. Just a bit of fun for shits and giggles and criminal boyfriends. Not at all like the usual stuff I write... well, sorta.

The Fake AH Crew had been causing one hell of a ruckus in downtown Los Santos. It was a fairly standard Tuesday evening.

Jon knew how to capitalise on this fact. It was easy enough to turn up, snap a few shots, get a quick run-down from the panicked witnesses and write something up, keeping his job for another week and not having to worry about keeping a roof over his head. Plus, he might be in luck to score a date from one of his favourite criminals… or a quickie if he was even luckier.

Today however, fate was not so kind. He arrived too soon; the Fakes were still on the scene, dick-deep in cops and in need of a quick and seamless getaway. Jon just happened to be the familiar face in the crowd.

Clear blue eyes beneath a black skull mask singled him out immediately, flashing recognition and for a split second, something else that Jon couldn’t put his finger on. The masked man grabbed him roughly by the collar, jammed the barrel of his gun against his shoulder and marched him towards the door, using him like a human shield. The rest of their rag-tag crew followed suit and before long Jon was shoved into the back of a car, a hostage to the most notorious criminals in Los Santos. Again.

He was briefly reminded of how he first met the masked terror of Los Santos; the Vagabond; the man he now affectionately knew as Ryan. A kidnapping gone wrong, a failed ransom and a fun-filled weekend alone together had certainly cemented their relationship.

“Ryan, please, do you have to be so rough?” Jon demanded as they fled scene, rubbing his shoulder dramatically.

Ryan tugged off his mask and grinned back at him from under his admittedly creepy, skull-like face paint. “C’mon Jon, I thought you liked it rough.”

Jon sighed and pressed his hands together and to his lips. Really, he shouldn’t have been surprised.

Jon was pressed into the centre seat in the back of the Fake AH Crew’s flashy vintage Roosevelt. Jack was driving while Geoff rode shotgun and Michael and Gavin, ‘Team Nice Dynamite’, hung off the sides of the car and rained chaos on the police pursuing them. To Jon’s right sat Ryan, passing explosives out the window to Michael, and to Jon’s left, firing concise shots around Gavin’s squirming form, was their newest recruit, Jeremy.

Now, while it wasn’t widely advertised, it was no secret that Jon and Ryan were a thing.

What  _ was _ a secret was that Jon and Jeremy were also a thing. A thing that Jon would very much like to  _ keep _ secret – especially from Ryan – but given the situation, he doubted it could stay that way for long…

Considering the commotion, between Ryan and Jeremy, it was rather peaceful and almost cosy in the back seat between his boyfriends. This was the first time all three had been together at once.

_ If only they knew… _

He was suddenly very nervous.

_ What if they knew? _

“Look, I was just trying to get some photos for work. I just wanna go home, make some dinner and watch some TV,” Jon explained.

Ryan scowled. “What’s the matter, Jon, don’t want to hang out with your criminal besties?”

“We’re not exciting enough for him…” Jeremy began playfully.

“No. No, no. No no no no, you’re  _ too _ exciting for me.”

“Well in that case,” Geoff’s voice drifted in from the front seat. “Do you two want to accompany Mr Boring here back home?”

_ Two? Why both of them?  _ Jon’s heart leapt into his throat.  _ Surely it was a safety in numbers thing, or maybe Ryan and Jeremy had somewhere to be together after this… _ his mind scrambled to come up with reasons Geoff might suggest they go together, but it kept settling on one disconcerting conclusion:  _ They know _ .

“Sure thing Geoff,” Jeremy replied dutifully.

“’d be delighted to,” Ryan added.

_ Oh god. _

_ I’m dead. _

Everyone knew Ryan got territorial. He didn’t like other people playing with his things. He was fiercely protective of his crew and Jeremy in particular, so finding out Jeremy and Jon had been fooling around would be a huge slap in the face. Jon should’ve known better.

Jon had met Jeremy by posing as an assassin. It had nearly cost him his life. Luckily he proved more valuable as a source of information, and it turned out Jeremy was a good guy, despite being rather painfully obviously one of the “bad guys”. 

If there was one thing Los Santos was good at, it was providing an appreciation that everything is relative; it really put things in perspective. 

He’d fallen for Jeremy fast and hard, and he felt a little guilty for not straight-up admitting his existing relationship with Ryan. It had put Jeremy in an awkward position when he’d found out and hesitated to tell him, so now they were both stuck in limbo, continuing their delicate relationship in secret under the noses of the crew. 

_ But possibly not for much longer… _

Jon couldn’t bring himself to look either of them in the eye, but tried to read their body language, looking for cues, anything that might help him work out what was going on, but they gave nothing away. 

_ Maybe he was just jumping to conclusions… _

“Jon?” Ryan’s voice snapped him out of the horrifying scenarios running through his head. “Are ya’ ok?”

“Sure…” Jon replied, not sure at all. “Fine. Just… yeah, fine.”

Ryan gave him a funny look, although it was hard to tell exactly what the look was under the face paint.

Jack pulled up near an alley that Jon knew led back to one of the Fake’s garages. He’d met Jeremy there on several occasions to exchange information… amongst other things. His heart pounded as they got out of the car, Michael and Gavin, still buzzing with adrenaline, smiling and laughing like hyenas, winking at him as they took their seats in the back of the car.

_ Why are you still following them?!  _ Jon practically screamed at himself.

He didn’t know. He couldn’t help it; part of him was drawn along with them, enchanted by the danger of it maybe? Excited perhaps?

_ They’re going to kill you… get out. Run. _

Against his better judgment, his feet moved on, following his boyfriends and probable soon-to-be executioners into the garage.

It’s not like either relationship was serious, he shouldn’t be risking so much for them, but at the same time, he loved them both dearly. Under a veneer of cool detachment and deadly skill, both were adorable and sweet and dorky in their own ways and that’s what Jon had come to love about them. He should be scared, but they made him feel safe, even when all instinct and logic told him to get out.

Ryan pulled open the door to a black, unmarked sedan that was surely a burner car.

_ Yeah, when your boyfriends are the kind of guys who have burner phones and burner cars, you probably don’t wanna go seeing other people behind their backs… especially their friends. _

“Hop in, Jon.” Ryan held the door and waved him to get in the passenger seat.

_ This is your own damn fault, you know that right? _

Jon apprehensively climbed in.

Ryan stalked around to the driver’s side while Jeremy climbed into the back seat, sitting in the middle and leaning forward so he could be heard between them.

Despite the fact that nothing had changed, nobody had said anything; the thought finally cemented itself in Jon’s mind and all his doubts dissipated.

_ They knew. _

Ultimately, it was probably Jeremy who had let it slip – or maybe Ryan had stumbled upon something – he was ridiculously observant of the little things, not so much people or emotions, but he could usually pick up when something was off. Maybe Jeremy had given in to guilt… Whatever had happened, Jon couldn’t find it in himself to be angry or even betrayed. In a way he felt like he deserved it, he probably should’ve come clean as soon as things changed.

The sun was setting as they left the alley, casting long, dark shadows from the high-rise buildings around them.

The silence they drove in was vaguely threatening on its own.

The question now remained:  _ what were they going to do about it? _

They started heading back towards Jon’s place in Vinewood, but just before they reached the turnoff they’d normally make, Ryan changed lanes and veered off, away from the blinking city lights of Los Santos and towards the open expanse of Blaine County.

Jon felt his heart skip a beat as Ryan accelerated.

“Guys… guys, please. Can we just talk about this?”

“ _ We’ve _ already talked all about it Jon,” Ryan said tightly.

Jeremy nodded behind him.

“So… you know that we’re…?” Jon looked at Ryan, then back to Jeremy, nervously.

Ryan hummed affirmative.

“Listen, I’m  _ really _ sorry… I wanted to tell you guys – I didn’t mean for things to happen the way they did!” Jon could feel the blood leaving his face, a cold sweat coming over him.

“Sorry to put you on the spot like this Jon…” Jeremy began.

_ No you’re not, _ Jon thought bitterly, seeing a cruel smirk forming on both Jeremy and Ryan’s faces,  _ you’re getting a kick out of this. _

“…but we gotta know where you stand before we can continue.”

“Continue?” Jon gulped.

“Well, I mean, it’s only fair to ask where we should go from here right?” Ryan explained. “And Jeremy and I only thought it was appropriate for us to tell you about  _ our _ relationship…”

“ _ Your _ relationship?” Jon was confused.

Jeremy laughed. “I thought it was a little more obvious than that.”

“Please, Jon, for the sake of your reputation, how did you not see that coming?” Ryan said with a grin.

“I… I…” Jon was lost for words.

His head spun as he tried to fathom the implications…  _ so they could maybe be ok with some kind of arrangement? Maybe that meant Ryan wasn’t jealous... _

Ryan and Jeremy burst out laughing as Ryan pulled the car up on the shoulder of a very quiet and now dark road.

Was he actually going to be ok? Could this  _ work _ ?

“Ok, I gotta admit, that wasn’t exactly what I was expecting.” Jon finally breathed a sigh of relief. “But I’m so happy for you. That’s wonderful news.”

“Mmmm...” Ryan hummed thoughtfully. “So, we’ve been talking, as people in open and healthy relationships do…”

“And of course I explained about  _ us _ ,” Jeremy continued, gesturing to himself and Jon.

Jon felt his blood run cold again, but only for a second.

“And we both love you Jon,” Ryan cut in again. “You’re a good friend, a good ally to the crew-” 

“-an amazing lay,” Jeremy interrupted enthusiastically.

“Oh my god, thank you. I love you guys. I love you both so much.” Relief washed over Jon once more, he wanted nothing more than to hug them both and cover them in kisses. “I think we can make this work.”

Jeremy was fussing with something in the back seat. Jon heard the cold sound of metal on metal and goosebumps crawled over his skin again as the look on Ryan’s face changed from warm to malicious in the blink of an eye.

“Aww… isn’t that sweet?”

Jon’s world crashed around him once more.

“Huh?”

“You thought we were serious?” Jeremy mocked.

“Oh Jon,” Ryan chided. “Surely you know us better than that.”

“…wh-what?”

Jon felt all hope slip through his fingers. He heard the gun cock without seeing it, but he knew it was over.

“You don’t cross the Fake AH Crew. You just don’t,” Jeremy explained darkly.

“You put Jeremy in a pretty bad position, Jon. I don’t appreciate that.”

“No, wait…” Jon begged.

“Sorry Jon.”

It was over instantly.

A silenced pistol. A bullet to the skull. A clean kill. No loose ends.

Jeremy and Ryan emptied a can of gasoline into the trunk of the car, propping Jon’s lifeless body on top of the spare tyre and leaving the trunk ajar as the car went up in flames.

Ryan casually explained that it would act as a kind-of impromptu cremation chamber, leaving behind very little trace of their once-boyfriend.

They retreated to a safe distance and watched the pyre burn with fond memories. Jeremy rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder and squeezed his hand.

“Love you, Ry.”

“Love you too, Lil’ J.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm all about polygamy, but I can't just let my stories have happy endings for all now, can I?


End file.
